Why do these things never happen to me?

[Catherine]

A woman woke up with a ball python in her bed and she doesn't even own a snake. The article calls it an African Python or a Royal Python. It is just a plan ordinary Ball Python. It is clearly an escaped pet. It got in bed with her because it was cold. It should be under a heat lamp or sleeping with a heating pad. The snake was sleeping. All she had to do was calmly put it in a pillow case and tie a knot in the pillow case. That would have solved the whole thing right on the spot. Running away was silly. 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07...ngton-bed/

It was a fairly young snake and they are really harmless. They are quite docile and they get the name Ball Python because they  curl up in a ball and hide their heads if they get scared.  
Chances are the snake belongs to someone in her building. The snake is not going to have traveled too far from home.
If the snake doesn't find its way home, I hope it can find a good adoptive home. It probably has almost 20 years of life  ahead of it and it deserves a good home.