A Constipated Jack Russell

[Tobi]

How a constipated Jack Russell told me a disturbing urban legend.

(From Misty's memoirs -told in her own words-....chapter 5)

One day I met a Jack Russell tied up by his lead beside a shop. The woman just thought I was sniffing his backside, but I was not merely doing that. I was gaining knowledge. When my eyes met his, I learned about a phenomenon I had never ever considered. At first, I was unsure whether to believe the tale.
"I am severely constipated." The Jack Russell confided.
Such things are never 'too much information' for a dog. We are interested in subjects many humans consider beneath them.
The woman became suddenly preoccupied with her own conversation involving a passing human, so the little dog and I managed to speak at some length.
"But I am quite happy about it," he continued, and shook himself to show me he was indeed well; "My sorry gastro-intestinal condition is all of my own volition."
"How can you be content with such a situation? And why doesn't your human fix that for you?" I asked, aghast.
"The lesser evil..." He replied. Then he drew closer to confide in me more intimately, and continued with his story.
"People don't always understand dogs," He said, "Dogs need to run as much as possible. They need work to do in the day in order to be truly happy."
I nodded in agreement. That was something I knew, and did daily.
"There are some exceptions," he went on, "For instance, 'lapdogs'...but mainly, it is so. Yet dogs are told to 'sit' and 'stay' and sleep on their beds, while pack leaders sit around on chairs, doing inscrutable things with desks; or worse -disappear altogether on extended hunting-trips, returning exhausted -and with no meat! -in the evening when it is dark.
"I am glad the woman doesn't do such things..." I remarked.
"She doesn't?" The Jack Russell exclaimed in amazement, "Then she is very unusual."
"Some have called her 'eccentric', and she never has much money," I added, but then shut up to let him continue his tale.
"These unfortunate dogs are then hitched up to short leads and walked briskly half-way around the block to do 'business'. The quicker they get it done, the quicker they are brought home again." He whispered, "It is a fact that many dogs get anal retention as a result -if they are intelligent. In order to experience the outside world, they repress the urge to defecate."
"....But I have fields.....and frisbees....and am free to poop where I like!" I blurted out; but he seemed not to comprehend what I meant. He had obviously never seen a frisbee....or a field.
"This habit can have shocking consequences. So that within a short time they find they can't poop even if they want to! So now do you see the sorry state I am in?"
I nodded in sympathy. Though I could never really understand.
Before we were pulled apart by leads going in different directions, the Jack Russell claimed his human was now giving him stewed apples and bran for breakfast -yet to no avail. The human had obviously underestimated his strong will for anal retention.
"I chase the faraway lights sometimes-" He called out over his shoulder as a farewell comment, "-There's nothing so annoying to humans as a dog who chases the faraway lights at two in the morning, but I try to confine that to Saturday nights only...."

The breakfast sounded delicious. Yet the tale sounded hellish -and probably fictional. I am now sure it may have been an urban legend.
It appeared to be a case of 'have a fabulous vegetarian breakfast, poop like glory, then stay inside a lot....or be frighteningly constipated, but walk more.'
_______________________________

By Misty.
Published by WagaLot publishing.
Printed by the Woman ....at night....when she's tired, or it's raining.
Copyright: Misty 2009.

[Catherine]

Well written. Misty was a story teller, there is no doubt about that.

It does highlight the whole dogs and lack of exercise issue. I never thought about constipation. Jack Russels are such a high energy dog.
No wonder they always seem wound a little tight. All of us are that way because we never see open fields or fresh air. And we all come home completely tired out. Dogs must think we are crazy, especially city dogs.

[Tobi]

Well....Misty and I both agreed that the Jack Russell's tale did seem a bit far-fetched, and that this probably was an urban legend! LOL!

[Catherine]

Not totally far fetched. I live in the big city and city dogs are home alone all day. They get a quick walk at 7am and then nothing until after 6pm or later. People step out the door and want the dog to go right there, right away. They are tired and hungry and waiting for the dog to poop is just too much. That is why I don't have a dog.

Dogs like that must learn to hold back on pooping.

City life is hard on all of us. We want dogs, but it is hard to make it work. Some people pay dog walkers, but that doesn't always work out.
(see thread about Brockwood six).

[Tobi]

Yes it's very difficult when people have no choice but to work as many hours of the day as they can. Some people have to work two jobs in order to make ends meet. It's hard on them, and it's hard on their dogs.
Yes dog walkers are sometimes good....but sometimes we don't know what we are letting ourselves in for....re: Brockwood 6. And I have heard of other cases also of dog-sitters supposed to be taking a dog for a walk, and they watch television in the person's house for an hour instead!

[Catherine]

I think the "real" dog walkers need to organize themselves as a group so they can monitor each others behavior. It would allow them to establish some standards and guidelines. They could form a dog walker's association. Right now you are better to pay a neighbour's child or a retired friend to do the dog walking. That way you at least know them and hopefully can trust them.

Right now a lot of people have two part time jobs. One full time job would be better, but that is not always possible any more. We can't get standards for daycares, I doubt we will get standards for dog care.

Dogs have done well to adapt to our crazy city life styles. I certainly don't want to see people give up on having dogs. They make life in the city much warmer and friendlier.

[Tobi]

Having a dog and a busy life isn't so bad in a multi-person household. Especially where children are teenagers, or where an elderly but still fairly fit relative also lives.
But it's harder where there is only one person. Unless it's possible to work from home.

Anyway....here's another little snippet from Misty's memoirs to cheer us up!
________________________________________________________

The Mystery of Sticks. (Or English For Hungarians.)
(From Misty's Memoirs.)

The Woman told me I was probably part-Hungarian. And even though rather runt-like and small, I could be carrying some Hungarian heritage.
She told me that to add a few more words of English to my vocabulary wouldn't go amiss.
All I had known of English up to that point were words like &*^%$....and ^%£)*.....'Geddardavere'.....'Drug-Squad'....and 'Kebab Shop'. But gradually I began to learn words like 'Dinner', 'Breakfast', 'Deer', 'Squirrels' and 'Field'.

However, something had become confusing.
I had noticed many English words were connected directly with Sticks:
FantaSTICK...elaSTICK....lipSTICK....plaSTICK, and draSTICK.....for example.
My discovery of those words led me to believe that, although they pretend not to be, secretly Humans are obsessed with sticks -just like us.

FantaSTICK -a word which often makes people show their teeth with pleasure, I take to mean 'A fantasy connected with sticks.'
DraSTICK, on the other hand is a word they often use with some trepidation. I heard her once say "Don't do that! That would be draSTICK!"
I think that word means either something scary to do with sticks -or awesome. I have never found any kind of stick to be either scary or awesome. They are just wood, and a lot of fun.
ElaSTICK....I will never completely understand. It's possible that it means 'something stretchy to do with sticks.' But I'm not sure. I have never, ever, noticed anything whatsoever stretchy about any kind of stick. They seem pretty stable as far as wood goes.

The only real problem about them is that there are never enough of the right ones. She insists on finding the 'perfect dog-stick' and won't let me play with lesser specimens for fear I might choke on crumbly wood or get thorns stuck in my tongue. (That could be what draSTICK means....)
Searching for the perfect dog-stick however, takes up precious time and can be a source of frustration.
"What?? Do you think I can find the perfect dog-stick -just like that??! They are not so very common! They don't grow on trees, you know!"
That particular comment I thought was illogical, and made me wonder how truly rational people really are.

There's a second drawback to sticks. Sometimes they get lodged up in trees, and impossible to dislodge. Whenever that happens, she usually gives up on them and walks away saying, "Oh well, never mind. We'll find another one."

See what I mean? People can be irrational.
Such a thing never happens with the Frisbee. "We'll get that down if it takes all day!" She will say, "That cost £1.89!"

_____________________________________________

By Misty.
Published by WagaLot publishing.
Printed by the Woman ....at night....when she's tired, or it's raining.
Copyright: Misty 2009.
_________________________________________________

[Catherine]

Very funny. Now I am going to wonder how many words have stick in them. I never thought about how a dog hears "stick" words.
Mystic: a stick found on a foggy day.
Ballistic: a ball and a stick found together...a real lucky find.

[Tobi]

(01-25-2015, 06:03 PM)Catherine Wrote: Very funny. Now I am going to wonder how many words have stick in them. I never thought about how a dog hears "stick" words.
Mystic: a stick found on a foggy day.
Ballistic: a ball and a stick found together...a real lucky find.

Rotating LOL

We'll have to find some more....there have to be lots.

[Catherine]

Okay, that's a challenge.

Broomstick: That's easy, that is using the broom handle as a stick. That seems like a dog friendly use for it.

Realistic: A stick that is real that you have now instead of the perfect stick you are looking for.

Majestic: This is different. Maybe it is a magic stick. Who knows what wonders it can do. Who wouldn't want a stick like that.